I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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