nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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