is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
