Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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