My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
