Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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