like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
