I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize