Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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