I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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