yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
