Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
