Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
