the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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