I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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