just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
