Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
