Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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