Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
