you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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