why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
