My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
