Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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