Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
