if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
