tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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