your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
