Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
