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NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I supernannyed him into submission
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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