Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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