There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
