Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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