I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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