hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize