dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
