She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
