11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
