is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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