arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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