I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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