Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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