So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
