i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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