Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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