Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
