apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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