is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm bleeding and have questions
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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