come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
