He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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