i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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