I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
