They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
