was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
