$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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