i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Randomize