Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
