One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
This baby is an asshole
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
